Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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