haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
