the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
