But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize