1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
