I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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