OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Randomize
