yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
