Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
