he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
