why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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