I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
