If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
