just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
