If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
