Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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