A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
