This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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