Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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