Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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