Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
