Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
