oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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