Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
