Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
