actually, I'm a sock model
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
