Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
