i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
