Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
