I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
