He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
