How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
