I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I enjoy the company of your penis
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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