I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
