Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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