i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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