Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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