Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
