Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
