I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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