Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize