but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
COCAINE IS GR8
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
