I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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