I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
