just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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