Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
