I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
