I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
