My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
