It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
