Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
