we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
