bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
How does one acquire holy water?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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