Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
