How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
