This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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