I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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