A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
