there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
