a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
