So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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